Camikaze.

This is fun, but I ran out of stuff to say.

I'm the delighted mother of a three year old,
and I very much want another baby [a boy]
before or around the time she turns 5;
but I still pray on my pillow every month
and thank god when I start to bleed.

Good god I'm lazy.

I enjoy answering phones and making copies.
My handwriting is horrible and I do not have
my multiplication tables memorized at all.
I remember every book I ever read
[surely there are thousands by now]
and I fall in love constantly with strangers
for the things that make them flawed.

Here's a big spill, because I keep forgetting to do two in one day:

I hate shoes,
I lather-rinse-repeat,
I'm afraid of hospitals,
I usually break the speed limit
by at least 8 mph but always
use my turn signals and call anyone
going too slow or even too fast
without signaling a cocksucker,
I have no concept of time;
and I am the most devoted person
who has ever walked the earth during sex,
but when it's time to cuddle and relax
I insist you lightly tickle every inch
of exposed skin until I fall asleep.

Also: I really enjoy the feeling of going poop.
Once you have spent 9 months being plugged up by
a baby and everything you consume, even water,
you learn to really appreciate a good deuce.

Look I'm bad at catching up.

Any time it's late and I'm driving home alone;
and I see a homeless person or a drunk guy stumbling along,
I get terrified that they might just be a zombie.
This thought flashes across my mind every time.
I'm truly terrified that we've been making funny or scary
movies about it for decades and decades,
but it's really going to happen and we're not prepared.

So that sucks. :D

I missed yesterday so two today!

I don't like condiments.
Ketchup is gross, mustard is okay in
very small doses [but only on hotdogs]
and I hate mayo! I do like honey on chicken nuggets,
but only from Chick-Fil-A.

So maybe I kind of like condiments,
but don't load it up with a buncha bullshit!
I like to taste what I eat!!

  "Ya know, kiddo; Love isn't some one-time-deal. Every new Love will be like your first breath of fresh air. It'll be the most passionate and truthful Love you've ever felt, every time. And sometimes Love doesn't confine you to just one person, sometimes you just Love too many people."

  "Have you ever loved more than one person at a time, Ma?"

  "Me? Hell no, I loved weed and I loved to get drunk. I never loved anybody as much as I loved myself.. Did I ever tell you about when my dad found my cigarette butts in the ashtray and ran around telling my mom he knew about 'the little whoreman' he thought she was seeing. He hollered whoreman for two hours before my mom made me come smoke a cigarette in front of him.. Hah."